Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
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he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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