Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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