I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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