dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize