It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize