Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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