she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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