it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
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Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The adults are the big ones right?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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