You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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