sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize