ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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