your room smells of hookers.
And success
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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