New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize