i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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