did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize