There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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