I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
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Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
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All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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