i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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