Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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