u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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