Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize