She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize