they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
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He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
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Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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