Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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