Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
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you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
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I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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