then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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