4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
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i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Never let your siblings swipe right.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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