Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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