I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize