Just fell off a train. Bad.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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