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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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