Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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