the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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