Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
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i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
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2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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