there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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