The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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