i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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