Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
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we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
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I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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