i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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