Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize