It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
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I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
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Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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