i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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