I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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