I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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