So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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