No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
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Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We left the knife in your bed.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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