Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize