Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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