I am in a vortex of obligation.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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