what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize